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Do you feel like your life has been a cycle of failure? Do you ever feel like you just aren’t where you feel you should be? Do you feel like others are farther along than you? They have what you want. Their lives are more organized, healthier, better careers, more money
Let’s really look at their lives. Just because they appear to have everything doesn’t mean that they do. The great job might pay well, but the boss is an asshole and makes going to work a living hell.
Maybe it looks like they are healthy, but they eat like crap and they might be thin, but inside they are killing themselves. Or maybe when you go to their house it looks organized, but really when they knew you were coming they threw everything in rooms you wouldn’t see.
It’s funny how people want to be seen in a particular way, but don’t actually do the work to live in that way. Not that anyone should be ashamed of wanting to be something they are not, but why don’t they do what it takes to get what they want.
Fear of Failure
There are few ways that fear leads to failure. It could be that you have tried before and failed, so why try again. Think that New Year’s resolution that you have made for the last few years and NEVER make it through January.
Then there is the fear of what would others think of you if you try. Unfortunately there can be people in your life who don’t want you to succeed. Why would that be? Well if you succeed it highlights their own fears about doing things.
For something that you have never tried before you might before afraid that you will not be able to do it. If you don’t try at all you will never have to face the failure.
Whatever your fear is, remember that it is only a thought in your mind. You are capable of doing more than you realize.
What does it take to get past the fear
1 Determine what could go wrong. Play through what it is that you want to do. Think of every way that you would possibly fail. Do this before you ever start on your journey. Seeing what could go wrong helps to reduce the anxiety that comes with the unknown of something new.
2 What is the worst case scenario if you do fail? Even if you give everything you have and still come up short what is the worst that will happen? In most cases, it is not the end of the world. No one is going to die. It will suck, but life will go on.
Figure out what it would be like if you fail. If you fail is there a “Plan B”? Will you stop or try something different? Know what would happen in the worst case scenario.
3 Visualize what it would be like to succeed in your goal. What does the accomplishment feel like? This will give you something to strive for.
Change your Mindset
1 Learn to love to fail. Yes, that sounds absurd, but if you are failing more that means you are trying more. The more you try the more you will eventually succeed.
Failure is just a learning lesson. With lessons learned you will do better next time. So the next time you will get where you want to be.
2 Acknowledge that everyone experiences fear. It doesn’t matter who you are or what you’re going through negative thoughts will come. Like I can’t do this, I am not good enough, or I will never be able to do.
“The mind is everything. What you think you become.” — Buddha
The difference between someone who fails and someone who succeeds is that success comes to the people who hear those negative thoughts and tell themselves, “I hear that, but if I don’t try and push through, I will never know and never get what I want”.
3 Stop thinking that you need to do everything. A great example is someone who makes a New Year’s resolution to lose 50 lbs. That is a huge goal and your mind will get overwhelmed by the idea of 50 lbs. You will get hung up on how big the number is. Failure is sure to follow.
Instead, think about what you are doing in steps. Break it down into manageable steps that you feel you can do. Make it enough that you have something to work for, but not too much that you feel like it is too much.
Bonus Tip
If you really want to crush your goals, setting deadlines is a surefire way to do that. The only potential problem here is that you don’t get hung up on missing a deadline.
The purpose of the deadline is to motivate you to get the work done within that time frame. If you don’t it is not a failure. You did accomplish something just not everything. Continue with it until you’re done.
Failure is a mindset. Actually an all too common mindset. It can be overcome. Learning how to work through the fear of failure before you start working on a goal can become a habit. You will need to repeat the process to make it that habit.
